Thursday, December 11, 2008

The worst week of my life

We went to Branson last weekend.

We really like Branson. We have some wonderful, kind friends that have a place there and invite us to come down often. We like it so much, we bought season passes to Silver Dollar City. We love having fun with our friends and doing fun stuff.

We like Branson so much we wanted to see how beautiful it was during the Christmas Season. The TV commercial says it is one of the top winter destinations. Boy, they weren't kidding. (spell check is telling me to spell weren't like this- wern't. I don't believe it. Am I wrong?)

So we went to Silver Dollar City, SDC for those of us on the inside, on Saturday. It was cold, about 45-50 during the day and colder at night, but we dressed warm. We got to the turn-off for the park and a nice man in an orange vest holding a SDC parking sign waved us on. On towards West Branson or Branson West, whatever. On toward Arkansas. We sailed past several more parking lots and nice men in orange vests directing us ever onward until at last we reached Arkansas. No really it was close to Arkansas. We were directed into a newly mowed field at the side of the highway next to a bank.

We should have known something was up then. Or maybe when we got out of our cars and had to wait in a line of about 150 people to get on a bus. But no, we just laughed and said "Boy, it must be really crowded." Ha Ha Ha.

Finally we were ushered onto a bus and as it was getting dark were deposited in front of the SDC gates. "Ha,Ha,Ha. Isn't this fun?" We said. Like fools. The next thing we know we see this sea of people trying to get in the park. We're not fools though, we quickly cut through a bakery and take a short cut. Unfortunately the short cut brings us out in the middle of another sea. This time it is the sea of people trying to get out of the park. It is a really, really big sea. And we are in the middle of it and we are going the wrong way. I am thinking we are going to end up like the guy at Walmart who got trampled. We have a small child with us. I am truly scared. When suddenly a very loud mouthed, I mean well meaning, SDC employee sees us trying to go the wrong way and starts hollering at us until we are pushed by a gang of unhappy outgoers into the side that is going in. Remember we have a small child with us. We are now pretty much separated from each other except for my lovely friend Tanya, who did manage to hold onto the small child. We finally get through the front gate and then inside to see a really, really, really big sea of people trying to get out of the park. Did I ever mention that I am claustraphobic? I am nearly in a panic by this time. We finally manage to group up again and someone has the presence of mind to lead us down a path to a spot where there aren't so many people. When we finally get to a spot where the people aren't arm to arm, I am shaking like a leaf, broke out in a sweat and ready to go home. Except now we are trapped in this park.

Well it got better after that. I truly had never seen anything like that in my whole life. Everywhere we went the lines were long but mostly well behaved. We visited lots of shops, rode the train, and watched a parade.

When we got hungry we ate a blooming onion and a philly cheesesteak sandwhich. We had a fairly good time until it was time to go home and then we had to wait in line for an hour and a half to catch a bus back to our field. At that time it was REALLY COLD.

But we made it home. Safe and sound. We were cold, tired and I had developed a nervous tic. We put on our jammies and I slammed two rum and cokes to settle my jangled nerves.

Finally everything settled down and we went to bed. Now here's the best part of the story and hasn't it been good so far?

At five A.M. I awoke with a battle of gigantic proportions going on in my stomach. It seems the 2 rum and cokes, the blooming onion, the philly cheesesteak and some chili I ate the day before were all having a knock-down drag out fight. There could only be one loser in this fight.

Welcome gastroenteritis, otherwise known as the stomach flu. It won't kill you, just make you want to die.

I will spare you the gory details, suffice it to say that when we reached home that evening, everyone was glad to get out of the car. Oh, and there was a lot of laundry.

So that was the beginning of the worst week of my life. On Monday I stayed in bed and bowed down to the plastic trash can. On Tuesday I felt a little better but weak. Then I noticed I was starting to get a head cold. On Wednesday, I relapsed and back to bed, head in the trashcan. Now I had the stomach flu and a cold. Lucky me.

Today is Thursday. I am out of bed and even had a shower. Went to the grocery store even. Actually, I went to a very special ceremony this morning that I will blog about later and that was the ONLY thing that got my sorry ass out of bed.

I am five pounds lighter and still can eat nothing but gatorade. I did get some baby food bananas and ate them and I think they really helped my GI tract because I am feeling much better. Tomorrow it's strained bananas and yogurt with probiotics. I am a BIG fan of probiotics. And Omega 3 and 6 fatty acids. They are SO good for what ails you. Take them, take them, everyone.

Now I haven't written anything for almost 2 months. I wonder why I chose this to write about? I'm not sure but I was compelled to share it with you. I needed to talk about it. I needed to purge these feelings. Get it? PURGE. I crack myself up. Nancy, I wish you read this blog.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Home from College

My college son came home this weekend to visit. It was a nice visit. He brought his new girlfriend, who was very nice, pretty and well-mannered. I had to work and didn't get to spend enough time with them, but other than that it was a very nice visit.

While my son was home I asked him to get a hair cut.

I know, how lame, every mom wants their son to get a hair cut.

Leave them alone for gosh sake, let them be who they are.

Well, I thought maybe something needed to be done. Before he was sitting on his hair. Before movie producers were trying to hire him to be the next Cousin It.

No, I jest.

It's not that bad.

But seriously, it is L-O-N-G.

This is who he really looks like.

Conan the Barbarian.

Oops! Upon further study, I hate to say it but he's not quite so buff. (Are you seeing a pattern here on this blog? Is my subconcious trying to tell me something?)

Maybe he looks more like Daniel Day Lewis in Last of the Mohicans.

Or Maybe he just looks like my son.

The little boy who changed my life, made me a mom, taught me about responsibility and so much more.

Taught me that my heart could be so full of love that it consumed my whole life.

My first born.

Ain't he handsome?

Well, that long flowing hair is no more.

Remind you of anyone?

Friday, September 26, 2008

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Tribute to LOTR

Amanda and I went to the symphony tonight. They were playing music from The Lord of The Rings. It was awesome. The music was directly from the movie and written by Howard Shore. It was actually a dress rehearsal so there were a few times they stopped and made technical changes.

Amanda bought me the ticket and it is to be my Christmas present.

As the symphony played the music, they showed drawings of scenes from the story on a screen above the musicians. The drawings were very good.

Watching it all made me want to go home and watch the movie. Then I started thinking about all the hot men in LOTR. There are really some fabulous looking men in that movie.

Who can forget Orlando Bloom as Legolas with that silky blond hair?

Or Viggo Mortenson as Aragorn. I'd do him (just kidding, Mom).

My favorite though is Faramir. He is so fine.

oh yeah!

David Wenhem is cute in or out of character.

I've always been a sucker for a redhead.

So there's a little eye candy to make your day.

Now I'm going to go upstairs and climb under the covers with my own hottie.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Doggie update

This is a doggie update.

Her name is now Ella. She likes her new name.

Ella is a rescue dog. I wish someone would rescue me.

The fact is we were told some untruths. I don't want to call anyone a liar, but the rescue lady is, well... a liar. When we got Ella, the rescue lady, God bless her, said that Ella was very quiet and docile. The truth is that Ella makes Taz look like he's taking Valium. The rescue lady said she was house trained. The truth is that she is somewhat house trained. As long as you take her out every 2 hours. The lady said she was 2 years old. The truth is we don't have her birth certificate but she acts much younger. The lady said she wouldn't chew on anything. The truth is she won't chew on anything that is higher than 6 feet off the ground. She has a vertical leap higher than Shaq (relatively speaking, that is.) The nice lady said she was in perfect health. The truth is, she's in perfect health except for the fleas and the little cough that she is going to the vet tomorrow for. (She has had her vaccinations, or at least they made a copy of some dogs vaccination schedule and gave it to us.)

The small daughter is thrilled with her. Couldn't be happier. I tried to talk her into taking Ella back to the nice lady and getting a dog that actually listened and didn't pee on the floor, but she is in LOVE and looked at me as if I was suggesting she forsake her family.

Here is Ella getting a flea bath.

Here are the girls and Ella making her a new I.D. tag.

Note the cool pink harness. We decided that would be a good idea after she backed out of her collar three or four times.

This, see this, this is the reason Ella won't be going back to the nice lady with the lying tendencies.

Or maybe it's this. This quite possibly is the reason I have flea bites on my legs.

or perhaps this

Thank God for this

Gotta run, 2 hours are up.

Monday, August 18, 2008

And True Love is Born

It was an unconventional place, for a love affair to begin. A strip mall, with people going in and out of doors, shoes and beauty supplies being bought and sold, and yet, love was in the air that cool Sunday morning. We certainly didn't expect to find love, we'd gone to the strip mall to buy hamster food. We were in a hurry as usual, rushing in and rushing out. I was with my six year old daughter.

Is six too young to find true love? She doesn't think so. Should I have stopped her? Maybe. Some would say yes, her father is one of them, but I say, "Who am I to stand in the way of love?"

Love is a funny thing. It only takes a second, two sets of eyes meet and in that instant, universes are born, bonds are fused, and ultimately, lives are changed. This is what happened to my smallest daughter. In that instant, when their big brown eyes met, she gave her heart. I can't say if it is right or wrong, only that it was meant to be.

This is her and her new love. Her name is Dooma. Dooma? What does that mean? We're going to change her name. The small girl wants Emily or Brittany, I picked Jasmine, her dad suggested Girl. Her older sister had a good one, but I told her only hoosiers name their dogs Stupid. She was only kidding.

What does the reigning dog say about this?

"What? Who? Where am I?" Poor old Buster-man.

Who could resist this little cutie?

We'll keep you posted.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

back to school

The Little Sweetie Pie is not the only one going back to school.

This is David. He is 20. He is going to be a junior in college, majoring in music. He attends a university several hours from our house. This child/man was unable to find gainful employment the entire summer. He did however play over 300 hours of World of Warcraft on the computer. He's the cow. He has spoken less than 50 words to me in three months and most of them were "Can I have some money?" and "What is for dinner?" He usually rises and shines bright and early around 3:oo...PM so what he really means is "What is for breakfast?" When my husband goes to work at 6:00...AM, they sometimes pass in the hall. Actually, he is a really good kid. He is very smart and knows how to fix things on my computer.

There is something so not right about a mother/child relationship in which a mother will actually cry when a child like this leaves her home to go live in a dorm. I DO need chocolate chip pecan cookie dough. On Saturday, I will drive him to college and leave him. For at least 9 months, I won't have to look at clothes on his floor or hear a disembodied voice from the basement computer say "Make your move, man." And yet, I feel totally and completely bereft at the thought of him leaving. I want to curl up in the fetal position and suck my thumb. Is this that survival of the species thingie? That instinct that keeps mothers from killing their young no matter how bad their rooms smell, and how many times they have to pack and unpack the youngs dorm room, in the rain, while the kid goes to an audition or plays drums at a graduation ceremony. Even when they forget their vaccination form and they won't let them move in until they sign a waiver saying if they get a communicable disease the university won't be responsible and to sign that waiver the mother has to walk about 12 blocks in the rain to get the form.

Thank God for that survival of the species thingie.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

First Grade, Already?

Note to self: The number one way to see words appear on your blog is to make sure your seat is in the chair and your fingers are on the keyboard. The rest is just karma.

Today was the last day before my last child goes to all day school (with tears welling up). Oh suck it up you big baby, you say. Well, bite me, I say to you. Who will I lay in bed and watch cartoons with? Who will I use as an excuse as to why I cannot get a thing done around the house? Who will do the grocery shopping with me, for God's sake? I mean for Gosh sake. I think I might go make some mashed potatoes and milk gravy. Or maybe sneak out to get some Ben and Jerry's. Or maybe my all time very bestest pity party food-raw chocolate chip cookie dough, wrapped in plastic wrap, hidden in the back of the freezer and sawed off with a knife when no one is around. Please let me have some pecans in the pantry.

Today was the last day for our baby-sitter who has been coming for 6 years, since the little first grader was 9 months old. We won't need her any more since the little one will be in all day school. We found her on a whim, and she was an absolute treasure to us. She taught my sweet daughter so many wonderful things. How to sew, her letters, helped her learn to read, how to be crafty and how to walk around the neighborhood exploring. In an age where no one hardly even knows their neighbors, half the people in our subdivision say hi to my daughter when we are walking. Everyone knows the little girl who walks around the subdivision, with her babysitter, stopping whenever there is anything interesting even if it is up in people's front yards or on their porch. They know no boundaries. They have become very good friends with the lady down the street because they stopped and sat on a bench in her front yard everyday. Now she plays games with them and offers them green tea in bottles. Good-bye to our wonderful friend. Hopefully she will remain in our life.

On a less dramatic note, I signed up to be in the mother's club at the elementary school. Please be aware that this is at great personal sacrifice for me. I am not a joiner. I hate crowds. I look like a grandma compared to the other moms. I am trying to turn over a new leaf for little sweetie pie's sake. She said "Mama can't you come work in the library like so and so's mom?"
Let's hope it works out.

Coming soon..... I am going to try and post a picture. ( I am comforted by the fact that no one reads this)

Saturday, June 28, 2008

The long dark teatime of the soul

This blog business is going to be harder than I thought. Sorry, it's kind of like cleaning my bathrooms or paying the bills, I put it off until I can devote all my attention to it. Well that will just never happen so either I will post short little disjointed snippets (good word, that snippets) or my posts will be few and far between. Fortunately, I will get the hang of it soon and brilliant, funny, articulate and timely posts will be forthcoming. Unfortunately, I am now entering the long dark teatime of the soul (thanks Douglas Adams), which means it is my weekend to work, and I will be away for a bit.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Day 3456 of my captivity: Hi, welcome to my blog. I thought that would be a catchy way to start. I am so excited to have a blog. I have been thinking about starting a blog. I have been talking endlessly about having a blog and finally....I have a blog. Ok, that is way to much pressure. Now that I have a blog, I have stage fright. Well, I guess I can take comfort in the fact that no one will actually read this blog unless I send it to my friends and family. That makes it a little easier.

Well, here goes. Hi friends and family. Saturday was our anniversary (11 years) and we went out to dinner to Shogun (a Japanese steakhouse) and had steak and shrimp. Yummy, it was great. The only bad thing was the table we were at was with two other couples who both had babies in high chairs who were being fed from baby food jars throughout the entire dinner. It was kind of a boring table. Having been there before at a bachelorette party, I knew the waiter would offer to squirt Saki, a rice alcohol thingie into peoples mouths from a large squirt bottle, but our table was boring and when the waiter offered Saki to the males they all said "No thanks". I was like, hey I want Saki, but then thought I would look like a cheap girl so I kept quiet and did not get to enjoy the excitement of guzzling Saki from a squirt bottle. In retrospect it is probably for the best. We then went to see Get Smart at the cinema, which was very funny and quite entertaining. I used to watch the original series when I was young and enjoyed it a lot.

I hope my friends who were having girls weekend in Ste. Gen were having lots of fun. They were probably drinking Saki from a squirt bottle or at least wine from a paper bag.

Friday, June 20, 2008

This is Girls Night

It was on June 17th 26 years ago that the seeds of the "Girls" were sewn. Tonight, we had "Girls" night at Maggie's House in St. Genevieve Missouri. Maggies Sister and her husband came over and it was revealed that the first time Barb and Terry met Mary Kay was at Maggie's Sisters Husband's Bachelor Party on June 17th, 1982. It was then and is still a small world. Mary Kay spent the night on Barb and Terry's couch that night and have been friends every since. This blog belongs to Timmie who was friends with Mary Kay then and shares the same birthday.

This first post is being written by Terry who probably has had too much to drink right now and probably isn't making much sense. I'm also not a very good writer. I will turn this over to Timmie who is a much better writer, and who will hopefully (or not) write her blog when she is sober.